The Adventures of Creamheart
by Chasing The Black Rabbit
Summary: It's something I didn't want to lose, perhaps you want to read it? Warning, more of a play than a story, if you know what I mean.
1. Episode 1

**EPISODE 1: Randomness is Random**

Creamy white she-cat: Hi I'm Creamheart!

Cheetah: And I'm Inception!

Black wolf that fits in the crew somehow: And I'm Río!

Creamheart: And this is…

All three: THE CREAMHEART SHOW!

Inception: Or CHS for short

Río: Usually it's CHRIS

Creamheart: Okay, first things first: One our first episode we'll meet some special guests!

Audience: Yay

Río: SHUT UP AND BE HAPPY!

Audience: *wild applause*

Inception: First up is our producer! Sparrowheart of ThunderClan! Call her Sparrow please!

Sparrow: *body hits the ground from somewhere above and there's a pop* Ow my spine…thanks mom!

Mother: *in helicopter* Love you hon!

Creamheart: How are you today Sparrow?

Sparrow: Like my spine had a massage

Río: But it's broken

Sparrow: What's broken._.

Río: Your spine

Sparrow: What spine

Río: The one that's broken!

Sparrow: What's broken?

Río: GRRRR! *Tackles Sparrow and the screen went blank with a cute bunny swallowing five dogs whole*

Creamheart: Well…that was interesting.

Inception: Good thing the Autobots came in.

Creamheart: Hai

Inception: Did you just say hello?

Creamheart: No, it's Japanese for "yes"

Inception: Why would you speak Japanese out of the blue for no reason?

Creamheart: *throws polka-dotted paint at Inception* oops

Inception: *spots now purple* What was that for!

Sparrow: OMG! It's a purple spotted cheetah! I'll go fetch me net! *runs off*

Inception: This can't get any worse…

Creamheart: That's what you say.

Inception: O'really?

Creamheart: Yes really

Inception: O'REALLY?

Creamheart: Yes…really

Sparrow: MARLY! :D

Creamheart: LOL

Inception: *Slaps Cream*

Creamheart: You love me?

Inception: NO!

Río: ¡Hola mi amigos!

Sparrow: ¡Hola Rio! :D

Río: ¡Mi amiga!

*Both hug and it is clear that this scene has gotten weird*

Inception: What the?

Creamheart: My show is ruined!

Inception: Not really, Sparrow's our first interview…Next up; we have Tigerstar from the Dark Forest!

Audience: BOO!

Tigerstar: I will see YOU in Dark Forest!

Sparrow: *pressed face against Tigerstar's*…wanna play Dare?

Creamheart: *claps paws* Yes that can be our segment on the show! Warrior's Dare; will you accept?

Tigerstar: Sure I guess

*ZAP!*

*We find our hosts and the guest in a dark room with instruments of horror and torture*

Tigerstar: *strapped to an electric chair* Wha? What's happening?

Everyone else: *Wearing black robes*

Sparrow: Welcome to the Warrior's Dare, we shall spin the Wheel of Doom now! Wheel of Doom brought to you by McDonald's! Get fat people on McDonald's!

Río: What's with the advertisement?

Sparrow: My job doesn't pay me. Or provide health insurance.

Inception: What kind of job is that?

Sparrow: MARLY XD

Creamheart: *head sweat* Okay we are spinning the Wheel! *spins Wheel*

Wheel: *lands on Fluffy Bunnies*

Tigerstar: Whew!

Wheel: * Typo found: It's Fluffy Bunnies of Death!*

Tigerstar: AAAAH! *is surrounded by bunnies*

Río: While Tigerstar is busy, let's listen to Sparrow as she sings for the hungry kits down in RiverClan

Sparrow: *Grabs a microphone* I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World~! Life in plastic, it's fantastic~!

*buzz!*

Tigerstar: *As the bunnies leave at the buzz, he is shivering with shock* B-bunnies….with knives…

Creamheart: Well, that's all we have today folks~! Sorry to have a lame opening, but there we are! Tune in-*gets run over by a train from the movie Inception*

Inception: THANKS MAL!

Mal: *riding train* you're waiting for a train, a train that'll take you far away. You hope that you know where the train is going but you don't know for sure!

Sparrow: *waves* Bai~!

Río: Inception you psychopath!

Inception: *shrugs* I'm just cool like that…


	2. Episode 2

**EPISODE 2: A short film**

Creamheart: Dodedo…

Río: BARK!*tackles Cream* Oops I couldn't help myself—

Creamheart: *throws Rio off* I'm suing you! *stalks away*

Río: D:

Inception: *poofs in* I'll see YOU in court! *poofs out*

Sparrow: *poofs in* YOU JUST GOT SERVED! *poofs out*

—show was cancelled for now please tune in next time in EPISODE 3: Sued!—


	3. Episode 3

**EPISIDE 3: Sued!**

Río: Hi folks! As you can see we're not in our studio, and our second episode was too short, but if you saw what happened, you'll understand why. Creamheart's suing me and I'm not too fond of that. Luckily, I have a secret weapon!

Sparrow: *Dizzily walks up* Hey—hic! Hey Rio, how're you~?

Río: Are you intoxicated?

Sparrow: *takes a sip of rum* No silly this is rum!

Rio: I'm doomed! *face palm*

Sparrow: LOL TEA TIME! *pours rum into a cup*

Creamheart:*Walks in* Guess what Rio? You may have Sparrow, but I have…*points at door*

Purdy: *pads out of door* Eh, whah? My 'earing ain't as good as it used t'be…

Rio: *Laughs* what's an old deaf cat going to do against me and a scientist *looks at a passed out Sparrow*…who's, er, tipsy today…

Sparrow: *flaps wings* TWEET! TWEET! FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! No, not really, I'm an anti-twitterist! IMMA BE ROCKING THAT BODY!

Creamheart: -_- Yeah, she's a keeper. But Purdy is an official swimsuit model and lawyer!

Purdy:*rips old rumpled fur apart and reveals a Jacob Black body with abs and biceps and a deep irresistible voice* Hey baby, I'm a lawyer.

Río: *dies a brief second of despair* Oh dung!

Creamheart: Yeah, we'll crush you!

Jayfeather: All rise for Judge Joe Squirrelflight!

Squirrelflight: Thanks Jay.

Jayfeather: Humph! Not talking to you.

Squirrelflight: I DON'T GIVE A DUNG, YOU SPOILED BRAT!

Jayfeather: All sit for Judge Joe Squirrelflight!

Río: Sparrow, you know how to win this case?

Sparrow: *has head phones playing Justin Bieber* you spin me 'round, right 'round, right 'round, like a rollercoaster, 'round, right 'round~!

Río: …you're not even singing the right song!

Creamheart: *nudges Purdy* go Purdy!

Purdy:*stands up and she-cats faint from his biceps* I'd like to call Inception to the stand

Creamheart: WHAT? *claws at the table while a random Jigglypuff runs in from nowhere and holds her back* He hates me! He tried to kill me!

Inception: *strides towards the stand with a gold chain that says 'Hollyleaf's tom foreva!'*Sup!

Squirrelflight: *winks*Hey Inception!

Inception: *Winks back* Hey girl! How's the boyfriend, if ya know what I mean?

Squirrelflight: Like TMDDITC! (Too Much Drama Down In ThunderClan!)

Inception: Like IKRGIKHYF! (I Know Right, Girl I Know How You Feel!)

Río: WOULD YOU SHE-CATS STOP SPEAKING LIKE THAT?

Jayfeather: *holds out a book made out of rocks and leaves* Do you swear to tell the truth, and only the truth, so help your GRAVE?

Inception: *snaps fingers at Jayfeather* I do kiddo!

Sparrow: *walks over while singing 'Patty Cake'* Do you believe Rio was attacking Cream?

Inception: No dawg, er cawt…Rio won't go out and do that mess!

Sparrow: So you're saying Cream's lying? But Rio did attack her, we got footage!

Río: WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?

Sparrow: I blame the economy? :D

Inception: So what if it's on video? Some say the cucumber taste the better pickle.

Sparrow: Huh?

Inception: Whah?

Sparrow: Huh?

Inception: Wha?

Sparrow: MARLY XD

Purdy: LOL *more she-cats faint*

Jayfeather: What the…where're all my fan she-cats?

Sparrow: Nobody likes you…son of a banana!

Everyone: *GASP*

Inception: Uh-huh girl told you off *moves head sassy-like*

Jayfeather: *eye twitches*

Tigerstar who showed up to also be a witness: Oh, I get it! Yes, I believe Rio didn't attack Cream!

Sparrow: Good. I'd like to approach the bench you're Honor.

Squirrelflight: Um, granted?

Sparrow: *passes out besides Rio* lol bunnies…

Río: For a tipsy cat, you're effective…

Purdy: *walks towards Inception* If you DO believe this, then we have no use for you *pulls out battle axe and long blonde hair cascades down his neck*

Inception: What…I'm going now, peace out! *runs away* Like TTFN! (TaTa For Now!)

Creamheart: *eyes twitches* Purdy, who are you?

Purdy: Why, I'm FABIO!

Sparrow: *snores* OBJECTION!

Squirrelflight: *rolls eyes* Overruled

Purdy:*long hair sheds off and Purdy calls the next witness* Bring in Hollyleaf

Creamheart: Wise! Hollyleaf's a Code maniac! She's practically married to it!

Río: Nice exaggeration

Creamheart: No really she is

Río: Suuuure *waves Cream off*

Hollyleaf: *is wheeled in while in a straightjacket* The Code—is—EVERYTHING! *has a marriage ring on her*

Río: She_ IS_ married to the Code o.O

Purdy: Hollyleaf—may I call you Holly?

Hollyleaf: No—that's against the Code! Why are you so Jacob Black? That's against the Code too!

Jayfeather: *Whispers to Squirrelflight* this she-cat's crazy…

Hollyleaf: *froths by the mouth* Hagarhraaaarafragle!

*Everyone except Purdy and Sparrow takes a step back. Jigglypuff gets ready to restrain Hollyleaf*

Purdy: Hollyleaf, Río, a dog, has assaulted Creamheart. Do you believe he's guilty and that he attacked Cream?

Hollyleaf: YES! He's a dog! DOGS AREN'T IN THE CODE! MY HUSBAND IS ANGRY, I AM ANGRY!

Purdy: No further questions your Honor

Squirrelflight: I'll never understand WHY Leafpool asked me to raise you kits… The Defense may approach

Sparrow: *jaywalks over, if it's possible with no road* Hollyleaf. Let us not forget the Cuttlefish.

Río: What?

Creamheart: What…?

Sparrow: Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the our friends. Have they not helped us this far? Friends are doggies! *points accusingly at Creamheart* THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER GAVE YOU MONEY!

Hollyleaf: Rio, a dog, a friend, part of the Code. Code not allow doggies, doggies part of the Code…ROAR!*tackles Sparrow*

*There are hisses and spitting and it shows that Sparrow is winning and strangling Hollyleaf, then Jigglypuff appears and pulls them apart*

Sparrow: THIS WOMAN IS UNSTABLE! I OBJECT! SHUT UP! NO YOU! YOU!

Purdy: THE DEFENSE IS OUT OF ORDER!

Sparrow: CAKE IS A LIE! ACTIVATING SIREN NOISES: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! CONTROL ALT DELETE! CONTROL ALT DELETE! MAYDAY! MADAY! *is thrown into a coma*

Squirrelflight: Er, well, the Jury has reached the verdict.

Lionmane: Yes your Honor, we find the Defendant…innocent. The Plaintiff owes him 999,999,999,999,990 dollars…and nine cents.

Creamheart: DANG IT!

Purdy: *turns into his original self* Eh, what was that sonny?

Río: *grabs Sparrow, Inception, Jayfeather, and reluctantly Hollyleaf before dancing around with them* Yay!

Sparrow: *hiccups*

Creamheart: How'd he win?

Squirrelflight: Easy, you see, although Purdy was surprisingly hot as a swimsuit model and lawyer—

Purdy:*in lawyer form* Look at my Brazilian muscles!

Squirrelflight: —and even though you hade PROOF, and even though Hollyleaf was on your side…Sparrow was an awesome lawyer when she was tipsy—

Sparrow: Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy…

Squirrelflight:—and Inception's my best friend. Plus, you're overreacting.

Creamheart: But—

Squirrelflight: Would you like to talk to human resources?

Jigglypuff: *in the corner he is seen cracking his knuckle-paws*

Creamheart: *gulps and smiles* No thanks!

—LATER AT THE STUDIO—

Sparrow: *passed out on the guest couch* Hic! Rum…

Inception: Well, I'm glad you've made up, cuz we have to get back to the show

Río: Yup I'll start scripting *writes down a reminder to kill Creamheart later*

Creamheart: We can do it right now still. Hello everyone! This is—

*Screen goes blank because we've run out of time*

—**Tune in next time on CREAMHEART'S CHAT SHOW!—**


	4. Epsidode 4

**Episode 4: The Missing DS **

—***note*there is a scene with Spanish words. Mostly because I take Spanish Class and decided to use them in here!—**

Creamheart: Hello cats tuning in on our fourth episode~! I'm Creamheart!

Inception: I'm Inception

Inception button: BRMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Sparrow: I'm Sparrow~! *Coughs heavily*

Creamheart: Sparrow you okay?

Sparrow: *coughs out Darkstripe from Dark Forest and the last host of the show* Hack! Cough!

Darkstripe: Eeew she ate me!

Río: *cleaning self* and I'm Río!

Creamheart: And this is

Everyone: THE CREAMHEART SHOW

Sparrow: For all you worm and perm needs! :D

Audience: Heh?

Río: Don't mind her, she's crazy

Sparrow: *drools* Waffles…

Inception: …okay! Today we are interviewing Darkstripe from Dark Forest! Sup Dark, how are you?

Darkstripe: I just got eaten by a kit-brained she-cat. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

Sparrow: Like a million bucks?

Darkstripe: NO!

Sparrow: That's okay, because Cream?

Creamheart: Yes?

Sparrow: I lost your DS

Creamheart: You LOST MY WHAT?

Sparrow: I'm sowee! :D

Audience: *are gushing over Sparrow and her oblivious cuteness because even though she's really a teen in real life, she's a kit-warrior in this world*

Creamheart: *Counts to ten* let's go find it…

Darkstripe: Good then I can go home now?

Inception: No *Chains Darkstripe to one of the pillars* Want to play…

Audience: THE WARRIOR'S DARE?

Darkstripe: *screams* No you killed my father in there!

Río: Only once, it's not like Tigerstar can die in his afterlife *plus he ISN'T your father…*

Inception: Actually, he can. He said so himself

Río: …oh well! Do you accept?

Darkstripe: Accept what?

*ZAP*

*We find Río and Inception in black robes and carrying battle axes, while Darkstripe is chained to a tree in a field of flowers*

Darkstripe: What the…? Where're the instruments of horror and torture?

Río: We like to change it up a bit

Inception: Yeah, today's segment involves flowers! I shall spin the Wheel of Doom!

Río: Wheel of Doom brought to you by the Dark Forest Recruiting Club! Join Dark Forest as the scum of the earth you are!

Inception: That's a bit demeaning.

Río: Just spin the StarClan darned Wheel

Inception: *spins Wheel*

*the Wheel is shown to stop at STAR WARRIORS*

Darkstripe: Star Warriors?

*ZAP*

*We are now seeing Darkstripe dressed up as Luke Skywalker—which is ironic cuz Darkstripe doesn't walk the skies—and wielding a lightsaber. Meanwhile Inception, Río, and their weird bodyguard Jigglypuff are sitting behind a force field, eating mouse flavored-popcorn*

Darkstripe: Where am I?

Inception: You must fight the greatest warrior alive! Bring him out bring him out! *Rap music plays the song that the reference is from*

Justin Bieber: *walks on stage*

Darkstripe: JUSTIN BIEBER? *rips his pelt off to reveal a tattoo that says "I LUV YA JB!"* I'm a big fan!

Justin Bieber: Oops wrong suit…*rips skin off to reveal Hawkfrost* Sup baby!

Darkstripe: YOU'RE JB?

Hawkfrost: Heck yeah! Someone had to be cool in their afterlife! Take that Twolegs!

Darkstripe: *zips up fur* Ahem…

Hawkfrost: I saw the tattoo, and took a picture of it!

Darkstripe: NUUU! *flails lightsaber at Hawk*

Hawkfrost: *pulls out his lightsaber* BRING IT ON!

*Scene change!*

*We now see Creamheart and Sparrow padding through ThunderClan Territory*

Creamheart: Are you SURE we should be here?

Sparrow: *bouncing as she goes* YUP, YUP! I'm part of ThunderClan remember?

Creamheart: Yeah, but I'm not, I'm from WindClan…

Sparrow: *bounce* oh…*bounce* that's a problem for you…

*They stop near Sky Oak. Sparrow takes a photo of the tree*

Creamheart: Why?

Sparrow: I'm also a tourist…*shoves her camera down her pants that appear and disappear somehow*

Creamheart: ….right

Sparrow: Anyway…*points at a high tree* Biggy D up there!

Creamheart: *looks at how high the tree is. There's practically a foodcourt on one branch* okay…*climbs tree*

Sparrow: I'll come too!

*Five hours later*

Creamheart: *panting as she tries to reach the highest branch* Haaaaaa….

Sparrow: *dances around Creamheart's body holding a McDonald's chocolate milkshake she got at the foodcourt*Lalala~!

Creamheart: How're you still okay?

Sparrow: I took the elevator!

Creamheart: THERE'S AN ELEVATOR?

*Loudness makes random birds attack Cream*

Creamheart: AAAAH!

Sparrow: Anyways, the DS isn't here! I forgot all about that…

Creamheart: GRRRRRR! *branch breaks* Oh sh—*falls*

Sparrow: Bai~! *waves at Cream who is now disfigured*

*We're back to the studio, where Darkstripe and Hawkfrost have an epic battle. Suddenly, Hawkfrost chops Darkstripe's arm off and the dark warrior is clinging to a rocky ledge with a jagged whole with no bottom that somehow appeared out of nowhere*

Inception: Hey Río, got any popcorn left?

Río: *shoves it over and takes some popcorn from Jigglypuff instead*

Jigglypuff: Jiggly! *puffs up angrily*

Inception: Why is our bodyguard a Jigglypuff anyway?

Río: Cuz the warrior Lionblaze is my least favorite, so I fired him

Lionblaze: *sniffles somewhere in the Wings*

Darkstripe: *dangles from ledge* Aaaah! This is not fun any more!

Hawkfrost: Join us Darkstripe, at the Tigerstar sleep over!

Darkstripe: Never! You killed MJ!

Hawkfrost: No Darkstripe, I am MJ!

* Río, Darkstripe, Inception, Jigglypuff, and the audience gasp loudly*

Río: You're MICHAEL JACKSON TOO?

Inception: Oddly enough I saw it coming…

Jigglypuff: Jiggly! *gets microphone and everybody screams because they know what'll happen if the bodyguard sings*

Río: *snatches microphone away* O-okay, now that's it for the Darkstripe and Hawkfrost interview~!

*Hawkfrost and Darkstripe are seen being shot from a large cannon*

Both: We're blasting off again!

Inception: Next we have…Leafpool! Oh joy

Río: Break out the Titanic and tissues!

*Jigglypuff runs off to get these things as Leafpool walks in. There are a few cheers and people giving her pity looks. Jigglypuff can't find the sunken ship and instead provides lifeboats and floaties, plus giving Leafpool a tub full of tissues before putting on floaties himself*

Río: *sitting in a lifeboat while wearing floaties* So Leafpool, how are you?

Leafpool: *wipes eyes with a tissue* I'm heartbroken actually, Crowfeather hates me, Jayfeather hates me, Hollyleaf wants me dead, Lionmane's a jerk, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw aren't speaking any more…*Breaks down into tears and the studio starts flooding*

Inception: *also sitting in a lifeboat while wearing floaties* She's crying! Brace yourselves! *a wave knocks his boat into Río's* Where are the happy snacks?

Río: *chewing on Airheads* these were the happy snacks?

Inception: …*throws a box of toilet paper at Leafpool* Please use the tissues!

Leafpool: *wipes her tears away* Thank you sir.

Inception: Welcome—

Leafpool: *grabs the cheetah by the throat and starts to strangle him* ME AND CROWFEATHER WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER FOR EVER!

Inception: SECURITY, SECURITY!

*Jigglypuff tackles Leafpool with a body slam*

Río: I understand why Hollyleaf's a crazy she-cat now…

*We return to Cream and Sparrow, who are now in ShadowClan Territory*

Sparrow: *drinking a chocolate milkshake from McDonald's* Yum, yum!

Creamheart: *in crutches* you sure my DS is in here?

Sparrow: Du-uh! ShadowClan has the biggest game station down here! I play the Wii down here every Gathering!

Creamheart: Okay then

*the two stop when they hear a beeping noise. It's the sound of a video game*

Creamheart: Yes we've found it *limps towards a bush where the noise is* here we are—what?*opens bushes to reveal a squirrel playing the Sega Game System*

Sparrow: *takes picture of squirrel* Video Game playing squirrels are rare here!

Squirrel: *looks cutely at Creamheart*

Creamheart: Hi little guy, sorry to—

Squirrel: *Eyes go red and starts frothing by the mouth* CHICHCICHCICHI! *Leaps at Creamheart*

Creamheart: Aaaah!

Sparrow: *sketches picture of the rabid squirrel while it maims her friend* Very rare indeed! Sorry Creamheart, I gotta tell you three important things!

Creamheart: *pins the squirrel down* what?

Sparrow: One, I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH; I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH. Two, I have no idea why people love Twilight. And three…

Creamheart: *Eye twitches as she holds the squirrel down* what?

Sparrow: ….I just saved more money on my car insurance :D

Creamheart: *lets go of the squirrel* HOW ARE THOSE THINGS IMPORTANT?

Squirrel: *attacks Creamheart again and after one hour, he flees holding Cream's cell phone and singing merrily*

Creamheart: *Is now a bloody mess of fur and bones* Mommy….

*Back to the studio we see that it is all flooded with tears. Río's boat is sinking and that is a bad thing for Inception*

Río: *Screaming in Spanish because he's a hydrophobic* ¡Mi no gusta agua!

Inception: Don't worry Río, it is just water. Doesn't your name mean 'River' is Spanish—AAAH!

Río: *leaps at Inception and starts beating him with a rake* ¡Yo hablo español! ¡MI NO GUSTA AGUA! Mi gusta los pescado y los tocino… ¡Mi no gusta agua! (Translation: I speak Spanish! I DO NOT LIKE WATER! I like fish and bacon….but I don't like water!)

Inception: OW! Okay I got it! You hate water, and you speak Spanish. You like fish and bacon, but you don't like water! *is bleeding from multiple rake wounds* Jigglypuff unclog the studio!

*Jigglypuff runs to the bathroom and pulls the stopper from the shower drain. The studio starts to return to its normal state as the water drains away. Río is calm now and nomming on toast from who-knows-where while Leafpool sits on the guest chair calmly like nothing happened*

Inception: *applies bandages on head* ow, okay Leafpool, you might want to use the tissues again. And help yourself to the ice cream…

Leafpool: *eats ice cream* Look I know why it didn't work out between me and Crowfeather…he thinks I'm a stalker now *wipes tears away*

Inception: I'm sure he doesn't think that way!

Río: Roll the camera, por favor (Please)

*Camera rolls*

[quote]Video originally posted by ©rzy$he©at on Catbook (AKA Leafpool's Catbook account!)

Crowfeather: *taking a shower, singing Bill Bills Bills by Destiny Child* Can you pay my bills, can you pay my telephone bills, can you pay my automo'bills then maybe we can chill~ I don't think you do, so you and me are through—

Leafpool: *tears down shower curtains* CROWY!

Crowfeather: Aaaah! *covers self in his towel* Leaf, honey! What are you doing here?

Leafpool: Watching you take a shower. I do it every morning. I love it when you sing, it's so pretty~!

Crowfeather: Why do you watch me take a shower and sing?

Leafpool: Cuz we love each other! Look I watch you sleep too! *shows photos in her phone* see~? This is you sucking you paw~! And look! *pulls out her laptop and points at the website called Catbook* see~! I changed my status from "crazy she-cat" to "madly in love with Crowy"! And I hacked you Catbook account and change your name to Snufflebunniesluvver, and your status is "heart aching for Leafypop"! *has a spasm*

Crowfeather: *coughs* Leafpool we can't be together remember? We promised—

Leafpool: And we made vows to each other *shows that her paw has a wedding ring* Now we're Mr. and Mrs. Snufflebunniesluvver! And we'll be together forever and ever—

Crowfeather: LEAFPOOL!

Leafpool: Yes my little Snufflebunny? *gets all starry-eyed*

Crowfeather: There's someone else

Leafpool: …..

Crowfeather: I had to prove that I'm loyal to WindClan so I mated with Nightcloud and I have to tell you this…I don't love you anymore. Not sense I realized how crazy you were at the Gathering that followed the badger attack. I'm sorry

Leafpool: ….*drops laptop*

Crowfeather: Leaf?

Leafpool: *strangles Crowfeather* I LUV YOU, YOU HERE ME? *shakes Crowfeather wildly because she didn't take her medication that day* MY HEART ACHES FOR YOU EACH DAY AND YOU TELL ME IT'S OVER?

Crowfeather: SECURITY!

*The camera starts to have static and then when it clears the scene has shifted to where Leafpool is in a straightjacket and thrown into the mental hospital*

Leafpool: OUR HEARTS SHALL BE ALWAYS ENTWINED!

Crowfeather: That she-cat's trying to kill me… [/quote]

*camera stops rolling*

Río: Inception, you are incorrect. Lo siento, but it's true. Leafpool is a stalker. A crazy one too (lo siento means "Sorry")

Leafpool: Oh you! *means to slap Río's shoulder playfully, but ends up punching the canine into the floor* Oops

Inception: Er, thanks Leafpool, you may go now…Now this episode shall end when Cream and Sparrow come back to close it!

*Meanwhile, Creamheart and Sparrow are in WindClan. In RiverClan Creamheart had been ambushed by piranhas while Sparrow was sniffing flowers. Now only WindClan, the safest place in all the Clans' territory, was left to search*

Creamheart: *in crutches and a arm cast* Now, are you SURE we are at the exact spot you lost the DS?

Sparrow: *dressed up in Matrix clothes* Yes, *puts on black sunglasses* Yes I am

Random noise: !

Creamheart: Okaaaaaaaaay….*points at the sky, getting an idea as a hawk flies overhead* Sparrow put on this cologne *hands a bottle to the deranged she-cat*

Sparrow: Steak sauce? *shrugs and douses self in it* I smell tasty!

Creamheart: Good…*cackles evilly* MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUHAHA—hack, cough, pant, patoooie! *coughs out a hair ball the size of a rhino* …I think one of my lungs came out from doing that

Sparrow: *puts a nametag on it* I'll name her Billy!

*Nametag actually says "Hello my name is Carl"*

Creamheart: Uh, right. Now Sparrow, I want you to yell out "Free food!" when I give you the signal. 'Kay kiddo, you got it?

Sparrow: ¡Si senora Creamheart! ¡Mi gustan los perros! ^^ (Translation: Yes Creamheart! I like dogs!)

Creamheart: Okay, the last sentence had nothing do what I just said…*runs off to find DS* Okay now!

Sparrow: FREE FOOD! COME AND GET IT!

Hawk: *dives, talons wide open*

Creamheart: Heh, I am not getting hurt this time—Aaaah!

*Hawk turns out to have an interest to the crippled cats and is attacking Cream instead*

Sparrow: *dashes over* Creamy! I gotta tell you two last things!

Creamheart: *is being pecked mercilessly* WHAT?

Sparrow: The DS isn't here.

Creamheart: I KINDA GUESSED THAT!

Sparrow: And…I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH, I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH, I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

Hawk: *Starts whip his tail feathers since he has no hair*

Creamheart: *crawls away quietly* Maybe I can flee without that cat noticing…

Sparrow: *she leaps on Creamheart's back and breaks her spine* Pony rides me home!

Creamheart: I can't feel my legs….

*LATER Creamheart and Sparrow return to studio. Río, Jigglypuff, and Inception are playing Guitar Warrior which was the cat version of Guitar Hero. As Creamheart starts to ask if she could play next, she notices a black rectangular prism sitting on her chair. A cord was attached to it and on the prism was writing that said DS*

Creamheart: What's that?

Sparrow: That's your DS

Creamheart: …what

Sparrow: That's your DS

Creamheart: It's been…charging the whole time in my chair? *laughs a little*

Sparrow: Yup! *giggles*

Creamheart: *turns around* I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Sparrow: EEP! *flees*

*Cream gives chase and the two run out of the studio and towards a cliff. Sparrow suddenly leaps off the ledge and hides underneath it. Cream stands at the cliff, looking for her victim*

Creamheart: Where are you?

Sparrow: SPARTA! *headbutts Cream off the cliff*

Creamheart: *screams and falls off cliff* Curse you gravity!

Inception: *stares down the cliff* I have acrophobia…

Sparrow: I love naming phobias!

Inception: No, you don't have to—

Sparrow: *Starts singing* Hydrophobia, Acrophobia, Arachnophobia, Bibliophobia, Pyrophobia, Russophobia…

Inception: People fear Russians? *eyes widen as the list goes on* I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE! *leaps off the cliff*

Río: Dang it, now I gotta pay for health insurance. Tune in next time on…

**THE CREAMHEART SHOW!**

**-List of phobias Sparrow has mentioned**

**Hydrophobia-Fear of water**

**Acrophobia-Fear of heights**

**Arachnophobia-Fear of spiders**

**Bibliophobia-Fear of books**

**Pyrophobia-Fear of fire**

**Russophobia- Fear of Russians**

**Phobia list finished—**


	5. Episode 5

**Episode 5: The Green Sparrow Part One: Sparrow in the Misty Blue Cream with the Inception of the Río! (Long name eh?)**

Creamheart: Hello! I'm Creamheart!

Río: I'm Río! ¡Mi llamo Río!

Sparrow: I'm Sparrow!

Inception: And I'm Inception!

Creamheart: And this is…

THE CREAMHEART SHOW!

Sparrow: As you can see, Cream survived the fall from the cliff….

Creamheart: More like survived the Spartan kick

Sparrow: TONIGHT WE DINE IN SAN DIEGO!

Río: ….okay well today we get a special combo!

Sparrow: Can I have fries?

Inception: Not that combo Sparrow

Sparrow: Oh, lame

Río: Here's Mistystar and Bluestar!

*Car crashes into the studio. Mistystar and Bluestar seemed to have been arguing with Mistystar driving. There is utter chaos and it turns out that the bodyguard Jigglypuff has shielded Inception with his body*

Inception: WHOA!

Sparrow: Mommy the phone's ringing!

Creamheart: …sit in the timeout corner Sparrow

Sparrow: *grumbles that she hates the timeout corner then sits there*

Creamheart: Um *knocks on car door*

Mistystar: *rolls down window* YAH?

Creamheart: Um, you ready for the interview?

Bluestar: *pads out of the car* I was just explaining to my daughter about online-dating!

Mistystar: *rolls eyes* Mother!

Bluestar: Quiet young lady! *to Cream* This she-cat went and met a mouse-brained tom name BLU3_3Y3$_WH!T3_DRAG0N!

Sparrow: That's me! :D I thought she was a guy…

Creamheart: SPARROW!

Sparrow: Fine *turns away again*

Río: ….Ahem so can you still start the interview?

Bluestar & Mistystar: OF COURSE *both glare at each other then shove each other too as they sat on the guest chair*

Inception: So we came up with a new segment called…

Creamheart: Warrior's

Río: Deepest, Darkest…

Sparrow: Secrets Game!

Mistystar: Sounds—

Bluestar: Inappropriate! An unauthorized game by educational people, do you really think I approve? No way am I letting my only child play a silly game!

Sparrow: But it's fun!

Mistystar: YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE FUN! I'm playing the game!

*And then a random she-cat pads into the studio, a long furred golden she-cat with blue eyes. On her body was a t-shirt that said "SP0TT3DL3AF F0R3VA!" Jigglypuff gets ready to pounce*

Creamheart: Who are you?

She-cat: HONEYFEATHER, The one and only Spottedleaf fan!

Sparrow: …..I know you some where…but where?

[quote]Originally a brief memory from Sparrow:

Sparrow: *walks down the road* I throw my hands in the air, and wave them like I don't care, singing "Ayooo! Now I told you once, now I told you twice…"

*suddenly a car is driving straight at the she-cat. Sparrow turns before being run over. The license plate does say "SP0TDL3AF". Sparrow tries to get up but yet another car runs her over. The license plate said "SP0TT3DL3AF F0R3VA!" and there was a wild fangirl scream inside. Sparrow yet again stands up, but gets hit AGAIN by a police car. And the license plate on it says "B3TTY"*

Sparrow: Ouch…

Police: This is Lieutenant Brambleclaw! Please pull over!

Spottedleaf: *in the first car* GET THIS STALKER AWAY FROM ME!

Honeyfeather: *in second car* But we're frieeeeeeeeeeeeends!

Brambleclaw: *throws a tire boot at Honeyfeather and her car*

Honeyfeather: *car starts doing donuts while Selena Gomez picks this as the time to play a song on the radio* we're going round and round, we're never going to stop going round and round~!

Sparrow: *Gets up and starts to stumble away and then Honeyfeather's phone whacks the she-cat in the head, making her fall off a bridge and into the river* Wheeee~!

[/quote]

Sparrow: *touches back of neck where the license plates smacked her at* owies…

Honeyfeather: Well I was coming to help host the show.

Creamheart: Well okay! We'll add you in!

Interception: I'm on it!

Mistystar: I'm ready for the segment

Bluestar: *gets first aid kit ready and the emergency phone is dialed on 911 just in case*

Río: Okay….

*ZAP*

*We find Mistystar and Bluestar chained to two pillars made out of obsidian. Sparrow and the crew are in black garments again, each holding a weapon too gruesome to put in detail. The area is a pitch black room*

Bluestar: Highly unsafe!

Sparrow: Shut it Gramgrams

Bluestar: Why I never seen such atrocious behavior!

Sparrow: *is playing Die Old Lady the videogame on her DS* How do you spell Bluestar?

Creamheart: *takes DS away* Okay now we've hidden cameras in your dens and camps.

Mistystar: YOU WHAT?

Inception: *giggles* I got Mistystar.

Río: *shudders* I got Bluestar…

Bluestar: *is offended* What about me is so horrible?

Río: I don't mean to be astute miss, but you are old…

Bluestar: YOU UNGRTATEFUL WOLF! You're just jealous cuz your girlfriend ain't pretty like me *poses*

Río: *Throws up a little*

Creamheart: Okay! Well we found your secrets!

Sparrow: I'm off diary! :D

Honeyfeather: Let the movie play!

*Camera rolls*

[Quote]Originally caught on tape by the CS Crew!

Mistystar: *is walking into her den with Mothwing*

Mothwing: Oh Misty~! You got of your addiction to sniff bunny rabbits!

Mistystar: Yup, I feel renewed and reborn!

Mothwing: And you did so well on the WindClan border patrol! For a second I thought you would race off and harass little bunnies and sniff them to death!

Mistystar: Yup!

Mothwing: Oh look I got to go now! Gotta find some herbs…*moonwalks out of the den*

Mistystar: *sighs contently*…*huddles in corner and pulls out a bunny* Sniffy time….*inhales bunny scent* Aahhh…. [/quote]

Sparrow: I'm off diary! :D

Creamheart: ….weird Misty….

Mistystar: I'll have you know I'm over the addiction! *shoves a rabbit to her face and inhales* See? Entirely over it!

Río: Uh….

Inception: Well, let's um, see Bluestar's secret…

[Quote] Originally caught on tape by the CS Crew!

Bluestar: *put hula skirt on and coconut bra and then dances* DONHA WISH YA GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME?

[/quote]

Everybody: …..

Sparrow: …MY EYES! MY EYES!

Río: Inception, look away!

Inception: Urgh! *Eyes melt into a puddle on the ground and the cheetah falls down dead*

Creamheart: Aaaah! *throws pokéball* Shokachu use Thunderbolt!

Shokachu: Shocka…CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Electrifies the dead kitty*

Inception: Eh, what happened?

Sparrow: …I'm off diary! :D

Mistystar: -_- Okay we gotta go! *grabs Bluestar and they flee*

Honeyfeather: Well, this concludes our show—

*suddenly a camera shows Spottedleaf tied up. And mysterious shadow appears*

Shadow: If you want her alive come and duel me. Signed Brokenstar Voldemort

Honeyfeather: AH! SPOOTEDLEAGHFEHUO! *smashes the studio*

Río: Where's Tigerstar?

Brokenstar: He's decapitated

Sparrow: YOU CUT OFF HIS HEAD?

Everyone:*groan*

Río: I guess this show's not finish. Let's band together and save Spottedleaf!

Sparrow: I wanna come

Creamheart: Er, you can't

Sparrow: Whyyyyyyyy? I've just watch HP for the first time, and yes it's probably the one of the last two movies, but I learned some spells!

Creamheart: It's too dangerous for a kit-warrior like you to go on the journey. Plus spells from Harry Potter? How'll that help?

Sparrow: *Holds the Elder wand* Stupefy!

*A strange light hits Creamheart and the she-cat in wounded*

Creamheart: ….why me x.x

Honeyfeather: Wait, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

Sparrow: Deathly Hallow Sea Turtles, mate

Everyone: What?

Sparrow: *is now dressed up like Jack Sparrow* Actually I don't nowee! :D

Audience: *has a nosebleed from the Kyaaaaness*

Inception: Ehg, POTC. Probably meant to happen

Río: O/O Kyaaaaaaaa~! Wow I wanted to hug you Sparrow! And I don't even like you in that way!

Sparrow: This wand's good for WOWP spells too! Comakus Pancakus! *holds a plateful of pancakes*

Creamheart: *in set of bandages* Okay, Jigglypuff get Honey's car and we'll get packed!

Jigglypuff: *salutes and swaggers away*

*Everybody but Inception and Río leave to get packed*

Río: Um, Inception?

Inception: Yeah?

Río: I've wanted to ask Creamheart out…but I'm not sure how to kiss her! Cuz I'm a wolf you see…

Inception: I can help you!

Río: Really?

Inception: Duh! Now all you have to do is this….

*LATER Creamheart is packing her things when Río pops in*

Creamheart: Hi Río

Río: Hola Bonita. Listen Cream, I gotta tell you something.

Creamheart: What is it?

Inception: [sub] You don't have to be cool, to be my girl. [/sub]

Río: You don't have to be cool, to be my girl…

Inception: [sub] You don't have to be rich, to rule my world. [/sub]

Río: You don't have to be rich, to rule my world…

Inception: [sub] I just want some extra time with your…*smooching sounds* kiss [/sub]

Río: I just want some extra time with your…*smooching sounds* kiss?

Creamheart: Aw that's so sweet Río! *hugs the little wolf*

Sparrow: *drives the Honeymobile into the studio* we're ready!

Creamheart: Er, okay….

*And the crew was off on the adventure of a lifetime!

[b]It was a hot, dry land. The road seemed to stretch on for ever. We were thirsty, our tongues parch, our skin bone-dry from sweating. We were losing our dear friend to the heat; Death wanted us and our blood… [/b]

Sparrow: Are we there yet?

Creamheart: We've only been out for five minutes, quit narrating

Sparrow: *gags* awww…

Creamheart: Well, at least she's not crazy—

Sparrow: He's mocking us listen! *points to the sun* STOP LAUGHING AT US YOU SOLAR TWIT! Captain Inception, sir! Are the chocolate bars ready?

Inception: Uh Sparrow…

Sparrow: If you don't supply the chocolate bars, the crew will be on the verge of mutiny. Then you gonna have to walk the plank sir!

Honeyfeather: *noms on some rope*NOMNOMNOMNOM. Mmm, delicious…

Río: Hey stop eating my daddy!

Creamheart: *drives car* Sparrow, I need you to drive for a second

Sparrow: Do I look like a twoleg to you? My paws are only thumbs! I'm turning into Thumb Man! *zombie walks past Honey and Río* Thumb Man, thumbing on the walls…

Río: *to the half eaten rope*what's that daddy? Devour her? Okay, but I can't eat Sparrow's Elder wand, it gives me gas

Honeyfeather: Um guys—

Inception: END OF THE LINE!

Sparrow: YOU'RE GONNA KILL US?

Jigglypuff: Jiggly Jig!

Creamheart: *hallucinates* omg, snakes!

Río: OMG DADDY BROUGHT COUSINS!

Honeyfeather: Everyone….SHUT UP!

Everybody: *shuts up*

Honeyfeather: Now, inhale…

Everybody: *breathes in*

Honeyfeather: …And release….

Sparrow: *farts* 'cuse me!

Honeyfeather: I meant breathing not gas. But, what do you feel?

Sparrow: Well, my buttitches really badly…

Honeyfeather: *sighs*

Río: Let's play Guitar Warrior then! (Cat version of Guitar Hero)

Jigglypuff: Jiggly! *pulls out two Wii remotes*

Sparrow: *gets microphone as the crew play Guitar Warrior* I'm going to sing Through the Fire and the Flames! (The hardest Guitar Hero song ever!)

*Yeah pretty much the crew are journeying through the mountains, wilderness, deserts, and other wild places while this song played*

Sparrow: Okay I'm done singing *drops microphone*

Creamheart: Well, you've managed to kill seven seconds with that song

Río: Whoop! I got a good score!

Inception: Are we there yet?

Honeyfeather: No

Inception: Are we there yet?

Honeyfeather: No

Inception: Are we there yet?

Honeyfeather: No…

Inception: Are we there yet?

Honeyfeather: No!

Inception: Are we there yet?

Sparrow: NO YOU TWIT!

*Car breaks down and Jigglypuff jumps out of the car and begins kicking it. Río does the stupid thing and stands in behind it at the pipe and gets hit by toxic fumes*

Río: Ugh…

Ravenpaw: I can help!

Río: Where'd you come from?

Ravenpaw: Well, when a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide to—

Río: No not that!

Sparrow: He flew on waffles

Creamheart: That's unlikely-*sees a floating waffle* Of course it is…

Ravenpaw: Anyway, I'll help! *starts fixing the car*

*LATER*

Jigglypuff: *writes* (Dear Ravenpaw, thanks for the fixing of our car!)

Creamheart: How'd you do it?

Ravenpaw: Well, I love unclogging the pipe, if you know what I mean

Sparrow: Well, I need you to come to my house and…unclog my pipe

Everyone: *laughs*

Sparrow: No seriously, my sink is clogged up, go unclog it.

Ravenpaw: Er, okay

Creamheart: Why don't you come help us find Spottedleaf?

Ravenpaw: *starts having a seizure* H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-huh? Sorry I can't!

Honeyfeather: *strangles Ravenpaw* WHY NOT? I'M GOING TO DRAG YOU TO THE FIREY PITS OF DARK FOREST!

*Jigglypuff body slams the she-cat away and Ravenpaw flees*

Río: Great, the tom who could fix things and Honeyfeather scared him away!

Honeyfeather: *frothing by the mouth and twitching* Hraaagrtwonaaagwaaaaaaaah!

*Everyone ties Honeyfeather up and glue her to the back of the car so she can't move. Then the quest continues!*

—**Tune in next time on the Creamheart Show!—**


	6. Episode 6

**Episode 6: The Green Sparrow Part Two: Holy Grail**

*The crew drove on until Brightheart appeared and kicked them out of the car. The damaged she-cat threw the car across the chasm that had appeared somehow and faces the others*

Brightheart: I am the troll!

Sparrow: Yes you are. Even trolls scream at you

Creamheart: Sparrow!

Sparrow: It's the truth!

Troll: *screams* AAAAH!

Sparrow: SEE?

Brightheart: It's okay, I'm used to it. Anyways, you must past the bridge one at a time, and answer the gatekeeper's questions. If you fail, you fall into the Pit of Despair

Sparrow: …..They named it after someone's armpit?

Brightheart: Yup

Río: HUDDLE!

*The crew forms a huddle*

Río: Who should go first?

Sparrow: I'll go I'll go!

Inception: We can't send her, she'll surely die!

Creamheart: No, no it's okay, she can go! We need her dead any way…

Honeyfeather: That's mean!

Creamheart: Have you SEEN what happened in Episode 4?

Honeyfeather: …Sparrow can go

Sparrow: Yay! *runs up to the bridge*

Yellowfang: Halt! You dare try to cross the bridge?

Sparrow: YUP!

Yellowfang: You must answer these three questions…

Sparrow: Okay!

Yellowfang: What is 1,068 divided by 89?

Sparrow: 12

Yellowfang: What is your destiny?

Sparrow: To jam with JB, MJ, and Scourge of BloodClan!

Yellowfang: What's your favorite color?

Sparrow: Blood

Yellowfang: ….okay off you goes kiddo!

Sparrow: *skips down bridge* Lalalala~!

Everybody: O_O

Ravenpaw who'd joined the group again: That's easy!

*Ravenpaw pads over*

Yellowfang: Halt! You dare try to cross the bridge?

Ravenpaw: Yes ma'am

Yellowfang: You must answer these three questions…

Ravenpaw: I'm ready

Yellowfang: What color is my fur?

Ravenpaw: Gray

Yellowfang: What is your destiny?

Ravenpaw: To never be a warrior

Yellowfang: What's the circumference of Earth?

Ravenpaw: What, I don't know OxO

*Yellowfang moves aside and a Charizard kicks Ravenpaw down the Pit*

Ravenpaw: AAAAAH!

Everybody: O_O

Río: Uh, who's next?

Darkstripe who decided to kill Sparrow and appeared somehow: I shall go

*Darkstripe walks to the bridge*

Yellowfang: Halt! You dare try to cross the bridge?

Darkstripe: Yeah

Yellowfang: You must answer these three questions…

Darkstripe: Sure

Yellowfang: What is 1,068 divided by 89?

Darkstripe: Uh 12?

Yellowfang: What is your destiny?

Darkstripe: To serve Tigerstar

Yellowfang: What's your favorite color?

Darkstripe: Blood, I mean pink, I mean—SWEET MOTHER OF GRAVY!

*Charizard kicks Darkstripe down into the Pit*

Sparrow: Bai~!

Creamheart: *gulps* I'll go

*Cream pads to the bridge*

Yellowfang: Halt! You dare—

*Sparrow pulls out a bazooka and fires. The force kills Yellowfang and the Charizard*

Sparrow: Okay you can cross now!

Creamheart: ….thank you?

*the whole crew cross the bridge. They continue on until they see a cat dressed in armor*

Río: Um, *walks over* ¿Hola?

Cat in armor: Sup I'm Tigerheart

Río: Um can we past sir?

Tigerheart: No

Río: Do I have to fight you?

Tigerheart: Yes

Río: In what?

Tigerheart: ….A POKEMON BATTLE!

*A Pokémon battle stadium playset appears out of nowhere and everyone shrinks inside it*

Sparrow: WOW!

Creamheart: We're dead

Inception: Only Sparrow is good at Pokémon battles…

Tigerheart: Go Celebi! *throws Pokéball*

Río: Okay *throws Pokéball* Go Pikachu?

*Pokéballs land in the center of the stadium and nothing happens. An hour ticks by*

Río: …..I got a better idea.

Tigerheart: What?

Río: *shoots Tigerheart with bazooka* There

*Everyone becomes original size and continues their journey*

Sparrow: Um, Inception?

Inception: Yeah?

Sparrow: I just want to say that—

Inception: *puts paw over her mouth* Shhh, I love you too

Sparrow: What the heck? I was about to say that I have the urge to dance!

Inception: That's just a cover up for the fact that you love—

Sparrow: *falls on floor and has a spasm* MUSIC MAKES ME LOSE CONTROL!

Inception: *slowly backs away as music plays* Er, okay

Creamheart: *reads her map* Spottedleaf is nearer, only fifty more miles

Honeyfeather: WHAT? We can't survive this for fifty more miles!

Río: *protectively faces everyone* Hey she's going her best!

*Jigglypuff body slams the canine*

Sparrow: …I CAN'T DO THIS! *starts running*

*Sparrow's running makes the background move very fast and twenty mile rolls of background zips by*

Sparrow: *stops and pants*

Creamheart: *sees that they've moved a bit faster* Thanks Sparrow

Sparrow: I *pants* hate *pant* you…

Creamheart: Let's go to a place where they sell ice cream for cats and wolves

Río: I know just the place…

—At Dairy Kitty (Cat version of Dairy Queen)—

Río: *is cursing at somebody in Spanish*

Sparrow:*covers ears* ¡Mi no gusta! ¡Mi no gusta!

Creamheart: What the heck Río?

Río: Lo siento, Lionheart only speaks español

Lionheart: ¡Yo no tengo un vegetales!

Río: JUST GIVE ME THE DA FREAKING FRIES!

Lionheart: *throws some fries in*

Río: ¡Gracias!

Lionheart: ¡De nada!

Sparrow: ¡Hasta Luego!

Creamheart: Somebody kill me….

Honeyfeather: I'm on it *pulls out chainsaw*

Creamheart: …..

*Car drives off*

*MEANWHILE we see Spottedleaf chained to a pillar and listening to opera*

Spottedleaf: NO STOP! MAKE IT STOP!

*Nearby, three figures are sitting on a statue, eating ice cream. They are Brokenstar Voldemort, Draco Scourge, and Snape Hawkfrost

Hawkfrost: Dude, what's with the HP names?

Scourge: I don't know but we should roll with it. Just be happy Brokenstar's not a psychopathic Japanese guy with shinigami eyes and likes to kill ppl by using the death note

Brokenstar: *laughs evilly and writing in a notebook* DIE VERMIN DIE!

Hawkfrost: …right….

Scourge: Anyway, we need to decide a huge enemy against the CS crew; they're getting closer every second.

Hawkfrost: Plus they killed Darky!

Scourge: You're pathetic

Hawkfrost: Hey I'm not as pathetic as—

*Bellatrix Clawface pops up*

Clawface: Hello guys!

Hawkfrost: —Clawface

Clawface: Watcha doing?

Scourge: Killing ppl. That's it! We'll send out…him

Hawkfrost: *gasp* YOU DON'T MEAN…

Scourge: Yes…Breezepelt

*BACK TO THE HEROES! We find the crew driving down a large moor which is WindClan territory. Sparrow is at the back of the car. Suddenly Sparrow's phone rings*

Sparrow: Hello?

Breezepelt: How are you?

Sparrow: Oh nothing, chilln' drinking a Bud

Breezepelt: You with your crew?

Inception: WAZZUP?

Breezepelt: What the…?

Sparrow: WAZZUP?

Río: WAZZUUUUUUUUUUP?

Creamheart: *calls from the phone* WAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?

Breezepelt: ?

Honeyfeather: ?

Jigglypuff: ?

Everyone: O.O

Jigglypuff: I mean, Jiggly!

Sparrow: So whatcha doing?

Breezepelt: Nothing, just chilln'….and I'm going to kill you.

Sparrow: …..well, you have fun with that! :D

Breezepelt: Okay you too bai~!

Sparrow: Bai~! *hangs up*

*back to the hideout*

Hawkfrost: Well that was a fail

Scourge: Dang it….they'll be here soon

Clawface: When?

*The Honeymobile crashes through*

Scourge: Now

Hawkfrost: Oh

Honeyfeather: Spotted!

Spottedleaf: Honey!

Creamheart: Hawk!

Hawkfrost: Cream!

Río: Scourge!

Scourge: Río!

Inception: Jigglypuff!

Jigglypuff: Jiggly Inception!

Creamheart: Brokenstar!

Brokenstar: Creamheart!

Sparrow: Sparrow! :D

Everybody: …..

Brokenstar: Who are you?

Río: We sir—

Brokenstar: I'm a woman

Sparrow: Ouch

Inception: *eyes crack like glass*

Hawkfrost: Dark Lord!

Brokenstar: On it! *presses button and the crew are surrounded by Dark Forest Cats*

Creamheart: Crud

Hawkfrost: Any last words?

Sparrow: Yes…*dancing* Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me

Hawkfrost: ….

Honeyfeather: Attack!

*Jigglypuff tackles Hawkfrost*

*A huge wars rages in the hideout as a bunch of Dark Forest cats get their bottoms kicked by Creamheart doing some Kato stuff from the Green Hornet*

Río: *is surrounded*….IMMA FIREN MAH LAZAR! *BOOOOOOOOM*

*Sparrow and Scourge are face to face, and everyone knows it was destiny for them to meet*

Sparrow: Stupefy! *sends out a beam of light

Scourge: Brisingr! *sends out a ball of blue fire*

*Sparrow and Draco Scourge have and epic wand battle of HP and Eragon while the others untie Spottedleaf*

Sparrow: Um, Scourge, your zipper's undone

Scourge: Eep! *covers self and runs off*

Brokenstar: *faces Honeyfeather* you have no chance of winning

Honeyfeather: ….*pulls out nunchucks* Hiiiiya! *Nunchucks by Jay Chou plays*

Brokenstar: Oh sh—*and Honeyfeather displays an epic show of kick-butting experience*

*Later, the CS crew find themselves surrounded by beaten up Dark Forest cats. Sparrow is now doing the Funky Chicken*

Sparrow: Uh-huh, we da best! Oh yeah!

Creamheart: ….okay then….*unchains Spotted leaf* Um Spotted?

Spottedleaf: Yeah?

Creamheart: How'd you survive with all that opera music?

Spottedleaf: CUZ I'M MAGIC BABY! *Green Hornet's car parks next to her and she jumps in* HIT IT KATO!

Sparrow: *grabs Honey and they jump in the car*

Kato: *Drives off and music plays Gansta's Paradise*

*As the remainder of the crew watches them leave, they get in their car and drive home*

Creamheart: That was weird.

Río: Yeah, the Green Hornet's car came out of nowhere

Inception: Worse, Jigglypuff went with them

Jigglypuff: *in the car* Jigglypuff!

Honeyfeather: As I walk through the valley of the shadow and death…~

Sparrow: I take a look at my life and realize there's not much left~

Spottedleaf: Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that ~

Green Hornet: Even my ma'ma thinks that my mind is gone~

Kato: Tell me why are we, so blind to see, that the ones we hurt, are you and me~?

*Song continues on cuz you know they're awesomesauce people XD*

–**Tune in next time in the Creamheart Show!—**


	7. Episode 7

**EPISODE 7: MISA DON'T OWN NOTHING**!

Río: Hello! This is Río!

Creamheart: And Creamheart!

Sparrow: And the awesome SPARROW!

*Pirates of the Caribbean music plays*

Inception: And I'm the epic Inception

Inception button: BRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Honeyfeather: And new host Honeyfeather!

Creamheart: And this is…

THE FANTASTIC CREAMHEART SHOW!

Sparrow: Now in our seventh episode!

Creamheart: That's right! And to celebrate, we're going to interview Spottedleaf!

Honeyfeather: *gasp* I just jizzed in my pants!

Sparrow: Whoop! We got pants!

Creamheart: And we're interviewing Brightheart! And finally, for all the fans….we're doing…Warrior Quiz!

Audience: *goes mad with cheers*

Río: Not to mention you ppl get to witness a lucky warrior fighting Bruce Lee!

Inception: *Secretly does a fist explosion with Río*

Sparrow: Let's do it!

Spottedleaf: *walks to the guest chair and sits*

*Honeyfeather flings herself at her hero but Jigglypuff does a weird back flip and body slams her to the floor*

Creamheart: So Spottedleaf—

Sparrow: *is harassing a coat rack* Hand me your hat! Are you going to hand it over? DON'T YOU BACKSASS ME! *tackles the rack*

Río: Er, okay….so Spottedleaf, how does it feel being dead?

Spottedleaf: *now wearing emo make up suddenly* Well, it is better that I make a poem out of it *Gets a microphone* Ahem

[sub]Dark, depressing pain

With no one to be there for me

My body feels pain

Like someone cutting me in half

With a very large blade

I scream as my blood spills on the floor

My eyes witness horrors that I never want to relive

But they always return

But much worse than before

Now I've realized it

I'm dead to the world

Because Clawface had indeed

Clawed my face [/sub]*Drops microphone and sits down* you liked it?

Sparrow: …..I'm going to have nightmares

Inception: *has been covering his ears* It was…good?

Creamheart: Thanks for that….interesting poem

Honeyfeather: *smirks*Río you look like a Magickarp now

Río: Karp, Karp, Magickarp! I mean, that was a nice poem

Spottedleaf: Aw thank you!

Sparrow: It's weird; some of my friends are emo!

Creamheart: Yeah that's nice Sparrow. Really nice

Inception: Well, now Spottedleaf, would you like to dance?

Spottedleaf: FREAK YEAH! I'LL WALK IT OUT! *starts to Walk It Out*

Sparrow: NUUUUUUUUU! :U *Gets a bat and beats Spottedleaf to death* NO—FREAKING—NEW SCHOOL—DANCES!

Honeyfeather: OMG SPOTTED! SECURITY!

Jigglypuff: *holds Sparrow back*

Sparrow: Harrrraghafragle!

Creamheart: Spotted I think you should leave…

Spottedleaf: No kidding! But thanks for saving me. Bye! *Gets on a motorcycle* Hit it Tally!

Tallstar: Right babe! *drives off*

Honeyfeather: Spottedleaf and Tallstar are dating?

Inception: EWWWWWWWW!

Río: *coughs* Well now we have Brightheart!

Brightheart: *pads in and takes Spottedleaf's place on the seat* Wait why is there blood on the seat?

Río: Um, it's a love seat?

Brightheart: …

Honeyfeather: Anyway—

Brightheart: Like in Gary's loveseat?

Río: Erm, excuse me?

Sparrow: Gary OAK?

Brightheart: Yup!

Sparrow: OMG I LUV GAWY OAK! *has a seizure*

Creamheart: O_O *ties up Sparrow* No! I said we'll go to the world of Pokémon later!

Sparrow: *froths by the mouth again* RAGLEFRAGLE!

Inception: Plz excuse her, she's a Garyfantic

Brightheart: …Okaaaaaaaaay…

Río: Now it's time for…WARRIOR QUIZ!

Brightheart: Wait we didn't interview!

Inception: LOL WHO GIVES A DUNG THIS IS AMERICA!

Sparrow: Where all your hopes and dreams go into the garbage truck! :D (Sparrow's a true American !)

*Brightheart is Sparta kicked out of here*

Creamheart: Our contestants are Jayfeather, Firestar, Scourge, and Bluestar!

Sparrow: *Drags the four into the studio with a single collar tied to their necks* Brought them!

Firestar: Choking…!

Honeyfeather: With excitement? Awesome! *gets the cards* Okay Sparrow, unleash them and set them on the chairs!

Sparrow: *sets the contestants on electric chairs with a pendulum hanging above each chair*

Bluestar: Um, why's Edgar Poe's pendulum swinging above us?

Sparrow: To cut my chicken!

Scourge: -_-

Creamheart: …No….they're there to drop on you guys and try to slice you in half when you get an answer wrong. And the electric chairs will shock you while moving you out of the way.

Jayfeather: This seems dangerous…

Río: Inception, Honeyfeather, and I will ask the questions. Creamheart will press the buzzer, and Sparrow will set off the pendulum and chairs!

Sparrow: *standing near a lever* I wanna demonstrate!

Inception: Knock yourself out, not literally

Sparrow: *reaches for the lever, then flips the light switch beside it*

*Jayfeather is shocked and swept aside as his pendulum slashes at the air he was in. The contestants gape at him when he is swept back to his spot, smoking like bacon*

Jayfeather: Ow…

Firestar: What's the lever for?

Sparrow: It's for my pancakes! *flips switch and an oven automatically appears* ta da! :D

And now it's time for ASK JIGGLYPUFF! This is where you ask questions on Warriors, Pokémon, Death Note, and that common why-isn't-my's-mate-Firestar-answering-my-phone-calls-and-smells-of-perfume-when-he-sneaks-into-bed-beside-me-at-4:00-in-the-morning question! Enjoy!

Dear Jigglypuff,

Why are you the security guard?

Jigglypuff: *wearing a translator* Cuz I'm DA BOSS!

And that's it for ASK JIGGLYPUFF!

Inception: Hey Satoshi! We're not paying you to interrupt our show with ASK JIGGLYPUFF! Quit playing and get to work

Satoshi: DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Inception: Stupid Pokémon trainers…

Satoshi: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Inception: Nothing! :D

Honeyfeather: Let the QUIZ begin! Question one: What is Firestar's Kittypet name!

Jayfeather: *smacks paw on button* RUSTY!

Río: Correct

Firestar: I thought it was Bob TT_TT

Everyone: What?

Creamheart: He doesn't even know his first name…

Inception: Er, next….

L Lawliet: *pops out of nowhere* WHO IS KIRA!

Sparrow: Ooh! Sparrow knows, Sparrow knows! *Runs over to Scourge* It's Scourge-kun! Scourge-kun! Aren't you proud of me Scourge-kun? :wub:

Scourge: *Being handcuffed by police* SPARROW YOU IDIOT! *Is taken away*

L Lawliet: Well, my work here is done!

Sparrow: Nuuuu! Stay until the show's over! *flaps arms wildly*

L Lawliet: Hmmm…well, okay. *Holds up a plate full of cake* Cake M'Lady? :3

Sparrow: Cake equals happiness! :D

Creamheart: So now that Scourge is out of the way, we're left with the other three!

*Crowd cheers cause they are Scourge-fans but Sparrow hearts Firestar more than Scourge and threatens to kill them all if they say one negative thing about him*

Inception: Next…What are the names of the mythical Clans?

Bluestar: *presses button* LeopardClan, TigerClan, and LionClan

Honeyfeather: Correct!

Río: And Firestar is now in last place—

*Firestar is seen lying on the floor batting his paws in the air*

Firestar: 99 bottles of rum on the wall, 99 bottles of rum. Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of rum on the wall. CATNIP IS THE BOMBDIGITY!

Río: *Anime head sweat* and apparently, he's on catnip…

Honeyfeather: Now, in what show did Bills, Bills, Bills got itself sang by boys?

Firestar: GLEE~! :D

Sparrow: WHOO~! A GLEEK :D

Río: Correct….AND NOW FOR THE BONUS ROUND

Creamheart: I do this one! Ahem, WHAT COLOR IS MY UNDERWEAR?

Jayfeather: Um vermillion?

Bluestar: California Blue?

Firestar: *throws up and laughs* Kitty-kats don't wear clothes!

Río: Well….

Creamheart: BZZZZZ!

Sparrow: YESSSS! :mellow:

*Jayfeather and Bluestar are eliminated in the most painful way possible*

Río: AND THE WINNER IS FIRESTAR!

Inception: Well, we promised you a fight with Bruce Lee, and here it is…!

Lionblaze: *pads in looking buff* SUP! YOU THINK BRUCE IS BAD? HE AIN'T BAD! I'M BAD! *Does some MJ moves* OOOOOOOOOH!

Bruce Lee: *walks in holding nunchucks* Aiiii-yaaaah! *Starts swiftly doing his nunchuck thingy-majigger*

Lionblaze: Is that it?

Bruce Lee: …Oh you want me to scare you? *Gets a lightsaber nunchuck and repeats the method again*

Lionblaze: O-O' Wait can I forfeit?

Sparrow: NO! I WANT TO SEE SOME BODY PARTS DISEMBLED!

Bruce Lee: *Epically beats Lionblaze, proving this invincible cat is really weak*

Lionblaze: Ow! Ouch! Eep! Oof!

Sparrow: BRUCE LEE, BRUCE LEE, BRUCE LEE!

Honeyfeather: Well that's all for…

**THE CREAMHEART SHOW!**


End file.
